Unpleasant things

Our carpenter, Paul, has a brother who has non-hodgkins lymphoma. He is the stoical type. Doesn’t complain and takes things as they come. They damaged his arm through chemo spillage, and he only complained afterwards when the colour turned nasty. Most of us howl with pain even if the speed of transfer of the chemo is too fast. But P’s brother…forget speed of transfer, even spillage did not elicit a complaint. They had to cut his arm open and swab the spillage. Anyway, he is at the stage of stem cell transfer: an unpleasant process and requires incarceration of up to three to four weeks in C10. They had prepared him etc, and then informed him there was no bed available. He got into C10 last friday - three days later than scheduled. These timings are obviously important and you just wonder…

Immediately after chemo the lump on my neck subsides. For two weeks now, I have not been able to feel it. Today I feel it again. So the size certainly appears to change, and today I am even aware of it without touching it. I can feel it when I move my head. Is it scar tissue? Why does it fluctuate then? Is it fluctuating? Is it all in my mind? Maybe I am growing another head.